Children of the Shadows
by SassyAngel05
Summary: Zack's POV up to the escape from Manticore. 4/4. Slight M/Z undertones, but not a lot. NEW! The escape!
1. Default Chapter

Author: Vona 

Title: Nightmare 

Rating: PG 

Pairing: Slightly M/Z, but not really. 

Show: Pilot pretty much. Some for Pollo Loco. All the kids flashbacks... 

Genre: General. 

Summary: This is Zack's point of view. He thinks on Manticore, Max, his other siblings, words, contemplates leaving. All of them in this four parter series. 

Disclaimer: Don't own any of them. C/E do. 

Distribution: Just ask! 

**Nightmare**

* * *

I laid in my bunk, many thoughts swirling around in my brain. Mostly they were about Max. It was weird. Suddenly, she seemed to be all I could think about. Her and her sad brown eyes. I could be out in the field and I'd never even realize it. She consumed every thought of the day. If Colonel Lydecker knew, he'd probably kill me or take Maxie away. I hadn't even been able to sleep as she slowly creeped into my thoughts at night. I'd listened to her and Jondy whisper to each other for five or six hours. I guessed it was about 400 hours right now. We'd be up by 600 hours and we'd be in the gym by 615 hours. I closed by eyes, wishing for sleep to come. Of course nothing happened. I was so desperate I was about to start to pray to the Blue Lady. But I wasn't that desperate. Ben would be angry to hear me thinking like that. I smiled. Ben wouldn't be able to hear what I think. I finally sat up in the bed, pushing my one pillow up against the metal bars of my bunk. I surveyed the room around me, letting my eyes roam around it. I studied each one of my brothers and sisters. Tinga, my second-in-command, lay across from me. Her hair was a bit longer than the others, though she'd probably have to have it buzzed soon. She was very strict with her training and to the point. We both believed in what we were doing. Next to Tinga was Zane. He was a lot like me in some ways, I think, but so different in others. He was adventurous in so many ways. He always came up with the most creative ways to capture our targets and the quickest way to get from point A to point B. Next to me was Brin. Brin always followed orders. She never shyed away from a mission, never was distracted. Eva lay next to Brin. Little Eva. She was so quiet. Always quiet. She didn't like guns and she didn't like to fight. It was odd, considering we were soldiers. We were made to be soldiers, but she didn't like the violence. Across from Eva was Krit. My little brother. He was loud and boisterous. In many ways, that was good. He looked younger than he was, half the time he looked younger than Max, but a lot of times that worked to his advantage. People underestimated him. Syl lay next to him. Krit and Syl had some kind of special-I don't know what it's called. I hated it when I couldn't think of the word. They were together many times. They fought a lot and I've heard it is called sibling rivalry. In so many ways, their fights comforted them in this monstrously cold building. Across from them was Ben. Ben! He was the imaginative one. He always came up with stories for the others, like the Blue Lady and the Good Place. He wanted to make everyone feel better, but scare them at the same time. He had a great deal of talent with words and sometimes I wonder if he'd help me figure out the words for Max that I've been trying to think of. But I'm the CO. I should know this stuff already. Jace was next. She was so scared all the time. Baby Jace hated the sound of guns and explosions. She hated going outside of their room and she hated being separated from her family. I think she is even afraid of herself. Next to Jace was an empty bunk. Jack's bunk. They took him away because of the shakies. I hate the shakies. We all get them, but Jack was the only one they found out about. They took him away and we haven't seen him since. Jondy was on my side, next to Max. Jondy was the second youngest, incredibly full of life. She enjoyed everything. She enjoyed our assignments, she adored our room, she adored us. She doesn't sleep much. She always stays up with Maxie. Max, my baby sister. She is so-special. She is one of the fastest and the toughest, no matter how little she is. She could probably beat me in a fight. She trusts all of us explicitely and I hope I can keep her safe. I really do want to. She's got the shakies. The rest of us has only had a few run ins with them, Jondy, Krit and Syl the most. That is until Max. She has them almost every night, just shaking away. I just hope that she doesn't do it in front of Colonel Lydecker. I'd even pray to the Blue Lady for that one. I heard a yelp come from that direction and I noticed Maxie was sitting straight up in bed. I pulled back the blankets and padded quietly to her. 

* * *

She was breathing deeply when I got to her bunk. I knelt in front of her before taking her hand. "What's wrong, Maxie?" 

"I saw Jack. The Nomlies had taken all his blood and Colonel Lydecker had people cutting him up." 

"It was just a nightmare." 

"No, it wasn't, Zack. I really saw it." 

"It just seemed real." 

Max shook her head, before clasping her hands in front of her. 

"I snuck out after dinner tonight. It was 1830 hours. We didn't have to go back out until 1900 hours. Everyone else was eating. I walked down the hall and a door was open. I peeked in and I saw Jack. With Colonel Lydecker. All the blood was in cups, and they were cutting him up. I saw his liver." 

Her eyes were haunted and wide with terror. I was torn between yelling at her and hugging her. 

"What were you thinking, 452? You could have been severely punished for stepping out of formation. What if Colonel Lydecker had seen you!?" 

Max looked down, about ready to cry, if she wasn't such a good soldier. I had called her by her designation. I only did that when I was really angry. Except I wasn't terribly angry, I was more afraid for her. I didn't want her to be sad, so I lowered my voice. 

"Maxie, you could have gotten in a bunch of trouble. Maybe even been sent to solitary. I don't want you to get hurt, Maxie." 

"I'm sorry, Zack." She said it so quietly and so pitifully I couldn't stay angry with her at all. 

"It's okay, Maxie, it's okay." 

I put my arms around her timidly. I didn't hug. I was the CO. CO's did not show any kind of emotion. It is just a weakness. Max leaned into the hug and she clutched onto my arms. I let her do that for a few moments before pulling back. 

"Sleep now, Max." 

"I can't." 

"You can. It's an order." 

She closed her eyes instantly then. I smiled a little, knowing she would see it. I brushed my hand over her cheek before walking back to my bunk. I saw Tinga watching me when I got into bed. I knew she had seen that display of emotion and I almost regretted it. Almost. She turned to her side and closed her eyes. I pushed my pillow down onto the bed and laid down. Well, it was almost dawn. I'd have to be up soon. I might as well get an hour of sleep. 


	2. Indescribable

**Undescribable**

* * *

We were in big trouble. We'd disobeyed our orders and revolted against the guards. We were in very big trouble. Colonel Lydecker and several of the X-4's had surrounded us and they looked pretty angry. Maxie stared at me with her wide brown eyes and let go of the string that held that strange red oval. It floated into the air like freedom and our entire unit watched. Several of us were smattered with blood, because occasionally the guards got a punch in for us. Colonel Lydecker paced in front of us before ordering us back inside the Manticore gymnasium. We formed our two lines and marched back inside. Colonel Lydecker barked at me, "Who was responsible for this?" 

I stood straight like a good soldier, "I am, Sir." 

"X5-599, why did this rebellion occur?" 

I stared straight ahead, thinking of my family. I had to protect them. 

"I saw something in a tree, Sir. I climbed up and retrieved it. The guards tried to take it away before I had a proper chance to identify it, Sir." 

"So you chose to beat your comrades in arms?" 

"Yes, Sir." 

"And the others just happened to get battered as well?" 

I took a deep breath. Tinga and Ben behind me had cuts and bruises like mine. 

"Yes, Sir. They were in the way, Sir." 

"Is that the way it happened, X5-493?" 

Ben nodded dutifully. "Yes, Sir." 

"X5-656?" 

"Yes, Sir." 

Colonel Lydecker scanned my unit with his beady eyes. They fell on Max. I held my breath as he spoke. "X5-452, did I see you with a balloon earlier?" 

Max stepped forward, attempting to look like the tough little soldier she tried to be, but it wasn't working. 

"No, Sir." 

"I saw you with a red balloon." 

"Permission to ask a question, Sir." 

"Granted." 

"What is a balloon, Sir?" 

I thought I saw him smile a little bit before it vanished. "An plastic oval with air inside. You were holding it, tied to a string." 

"Yes, Sir." 

He nodded slowly before turning to the X4's behind us. "The entire unit is to be punished. Severe beatings are to be adminstered to each one, one at a time." The X4's looked delighted to be the ones to beat us. Colonel Lydecker left the room, leaving us alone with the X4's. They chose to go from oldest to youngest apparently, so I was the first to be beat. They forced me on my knees before kicking and whipping me. Tinga was next, then Ben, then Zane, then Krit, then Syl, then Eva, then Brin, then Gage, then Jace, then Jondy. Each took them without complaint, except for little Jondy. She was shivering like a leaf and it made me very angry at the X4's. But it was even worse when Max was called up. She was so tiny, almost nine, but the smallest of the group. She was so...I don't know. I can't ever think of a word to describe Maxie. It's something that is good, but we're not really taught about the good words. Watching her step up to take her punishment, her head bowed, made something snap inside of me. I felt something so special for this little girl, but I didn't know what it was called. Like I said, we don't know the good words. I blurred forward and threw myself over her as the first kicks were given. They landed in my ribs and I felt them crack. Max jumped from beneath me, but she couldn't move. The X4's had just realized what had happened. They were so slow. "Get back in line, X5-599!" 

"I can't do that, Sir!" 

That seemed to put them in a flying rage. They all came at me and I jumped up so Max wouldn't feel any of the pain I would. They tried to catch me, but I managed to evade them most of the time. The whip came down on my back several times and all I could feel was the fire on my back. Still, I saw Maxie slip back into formation during the commotion, her eyes following me around the room. It made me feel a little bit better. Finally, the X4's caught up to me and they punched me a few more times. 

"Okay. Get them back to their barracks!" Colonel Lydecker barked from the doorway. Maxie was safe from the punishment. At least, I think she was. 

* * *

Everyone was terrible sore after that. Each person had sort of collapsed on their beds, praying to the Blue Lady for sleep and less pain. Even Jondy was tired. Max had climbed into her bed and buried her face in her pillow. I hope she didn't feel bad too. I'd tried to stop that. She was supposed to be happy now. I watched her from my bunk at the other side of the room. She had gotten up and gone to Jondy. They were...good sisters. They were together all the time. I think it's because neither of them ever needed much sleep and they're kind of the babies of the group. Anyways, Jace was next to Jondy and Max started to whisper while she wiped up some of the blood off their foreheads with her shirt. Ben tilted up in his bed and whispered for Max to tell him the story. So, Max whispered back, as if we couldn't hear her down the room, despite our hearing. "The Blue Lady protects us always. As longs as we make her happy, she won't let the Nomlies come and drink our blood. When we go away, there's a Good Place. No body yells or gives punishment. And the Nomlies are never there. All we have to do is play all day long, never train or go on maneuvers." Max stopped and looked down at Jace and Jondy. They were both asleep. She moved down to Ben and Eva and continued her story. "We're always happy there. The Blue Lady wants it that way. She's the one who lets us stay there. There's lots of games to play in the Good Place, and we'll always be a family there." 

She petted on Ben and Eva until they dozed off. Gage, Brin, Zane were in the bunks across from Ben, Eva, and Jace. "And in the Good Place, there are a lot of red balloons to play with. They float all around us and they're fun to play with. You can throw them like a grenade, except they don't explode." 

She moved on to Krit and Syl, who had huddled together, hugging each other. "In the Good Place, they don't take you away when you get the shakies. The Blue Lady holds you until they stop and then she lets you go play with your family." 

She stopped in front of Tinga's bed. "They let your hair grow really long. So it can be pretty and shiny and not stubbly like ours." Tinga let out a happy sigh as she slowly fell asleep. A chorus of steady breathing fell over the room. Max had successfully comforted each one of them. I closed my eyes as I felt her approach my bunk. She peeked through the metal bars at the foot of my bed and whispered, "Zack, are you still awake?" 

"Yes." 

She came around to the edge of my bed. Her tiny hand reached up and brushed my forehead and cheek. "I don't know what you want at the Good Place, Zack. I would tell you, but I don't know." 

"All I want at the Good Place, Maxie, is you." 

She smiled a little bit before she tilted her head. "But we'll all be there." 

"Then I'll be happy." 

See, the thing is, I don't believe in the Good Place. Or the Bad Place. Or the Nomlies drinking our blood. The Blue Lady isn't any more real then...well, I don't know. I've never believed in it. But it makes my brothers and sisters happy to believe in it. And I want them to be happy. Max stared at me in that way that makes me nervous. It's like she can read minds or something. She breathed deeply before whispering again, "Can I come up there, Zack?" 

I've always had trouble saying no to Max. She has that way that makes me want to protect her. She crawled up next to me and curled into my side. "Do you hurt a lot?" 

"It's nothin', Maxie. No reason to worry about me." 

"But they beat you twice because of me." 

"No, they beat me twice because of me, Max." 

I said it firmly so she would understand that none of this was her fault. It was that weird feeling again, the one I can't describe. I couldn't let her feel guilty because of it. I felt her little fingers slide through my hands and clasp onto it tightly. X5's did have quite a grip. She pillowed her head on my chest as she finished the story. 

"No one gets hurt in the Good Place. We're always together and we're always happy." 

She stopped to look up at me. "Do you think the Good Place is real, Zack?" 

They always looked to me to have all the right answers. I couldn't find it in my heart to destroy her hopes. 

"Of course it is. The Blue Lady made it. And the Blue Lady has protected you and Ben and Krit and Syl when you get the shakes. So it must be true. Even if it isn't, I'll protect you forever, Max." 

She seemed satisfied with that answer. She closed her eyes and I realized that we'd stayed up most of the night. Not unusual for Max, but for me, I needed the rest. She was drowsy and I knew she was about to fall asleep. So I ran my hand down her back and listened to her breathing slow and become quite rythmic. I studied her while she rested and hoped that I could keep her safe forever. I pressed my lips to the top of her head, wishing I could think of the good word to tell Max, but while considering those, I drifted off to sleep as well. 

* * *

I don't know who woke up first. Probably Jondy. And she woke the others up because she likes to share. Max and I had stayed asleep for the rest of the night and I hadn't made her go back to her bed. If they found us we'd be in big trouble. Even more so than last night. They were about to wake us up when the janitor came in. He saw the two of us and woke us. "Get back to your bed, girlie. Before the Colonel comes in." 

Max gave me a pitiful look before running to her bunk. We all closed our eyes as the janitor continued to clean. He left and Colonely Lydecker came in. 

"Wake up!" 

We all jumped to our feet. "X5-599! Did you learn your lesson?" 

"Yes, Sir. We will not rebel again." 

"Good. Now number them off." 

I walked down the rows, naming off each one of my siblings numbers. I stopped in front of Max. "X5-452." I smiled a little at her and that seemed to make her seem more comfortable. She raised her eyes to mine and smiled back. We quickly ended it before Colonel Lydecker saw. Except I think he did. Because he seemed to be thinking about something for a long time before we were given our orders for the day. 

* * *


	3. Sign

**Sign**

* * *

They killed her. They killed Eva. We were all together, marching down the hall. Every once in a while we explore Manticore, the halls, the doors, the rooms. We were doing that today when Colonel Lydecker found us. He shot Eva. She was right next to me and he shot her dead. She crumpled to the ground, looked up at me once, and then she stopped breathing. I hate Manticore. I hate Colonel Lydecker. I hate everything about this life. They took Jack away and then they took Eva away. The entire unit is devastated. Especially Maxie, Jondy, and Ben. They were the closest to baby Eva. Colonel Lydecker yelled at us for an hour about leaving the barrack after hours. I didn't say anything. The others didn't even seem to be listening. He finally released us to go back to the barrack. We all filed in our lines and went back. 

* * *

I think everyone was in shock. No one had expected Colonel Lydecker to murder one of us. Everyone fell into their beds and didn't say a word. This is all my fault. I should not have taken them on my expeditions. I should have slipped out on my own without them. Now Eva is dead because of me. I fought the urge to cry. It was a sign of weakness and I would not succumb to it. It did not matter how much I hurt. Emotion is weakness. But I heard some of the others crying, including little Maxie. I couldn't take hearing her sob into her pillow, or listen to Jondy and Ben try to make her feel better. I finally got up and walked over there. Ben and Jondy looked guilty and their faces were streaked with tears as well. "Maxie. Look at me." 

Max looked up like a good little soldier. Her brown eyes were filled with water and they were spilling over her cheeks in droplets. I sat on the edge of her bed. 

"I know it's awful losing Eva. We all cared about Eva. She was our sister. But she's gone now. She wouldn't want you to cry over her. You know that." 

"I hate Colonel Lydecker." 

"I know. I do, too." 

"He could have just punished us. He didn't have to shoot her." 

"I know." 

"Eva didn't do anything wrong. He's just mean." 

"I agree." 

I wiped the moisture off of her face and tucked her in tightly. "No more crying, okay, Maxie?" 

She nodded dutifully. I was her commanding officer. She would do what I ordered. I leaned down and pressed my lips on her forehead. Ben piped up from the side. "Why did you do that, Zack?" 

"Do what?" 

"Put your mouth on her forehead." 

"I don't know." I stopped to think. "I've seen a few people do that before. When one person is sad or hurt." 

"Where?" 

"The Infirmary. A doctor. She did it to one of the people in the infirmary." 

"Why?" 

"I think it's supposed to make them feel better." 

Ben looked at Jondy for a second. Then he leaned forward and copied my motions with Jondy. Jondy made a face and wiped her forehead. 

"Did that make you feel better, Jondy?" 

"I guess." She put her mouth on his cheek. 

"Did that make you feel better, Ben?" 

"Yeah. It must be the sign of the Blue Lady." 

"You're probably right!" Jondy replied excitedly. Ben looked at me like I'd just given him a good idea to add to his story. Well, seeing them smile was better than seeing them cry. 

"Go to bed. That's an order." 

Ben and Jondy scrambled into their beds and snuggled down in them. I walked down to the end of the room, not before staring at Eva's empty bunk. The sheets were perfectly smooth, not a single sign that anybody had ever slept there before. Jack's bed wasn't too far from hers. Slowly, my unit was dying away. I need to do something about it. I need to protect them. 


	4. Escape

**Escape**

* * *

We're going to leave tonight. Lights had barely been turned out when Max was hit with the shakes again. They were terrible tonight. She was trembling so badly she fell off of her bed onto the floor with a great thud. Of course, a crowd gathered around her, me in the center, trying to hold her down. She shook and shivered for several minutes before finally calming. All I could think about was watching Jack fall out of line that day and being taken away. That on top of the scene Maxie had described to me several weeks ago, I was thoroughly afraid for her. Krit and Syl and Jondy as well. I looked up at Tinga and motioned for her to follow me. I placed Max back on her bed, tucking her in tightly. I needed to discuss this with my S-I-C first. 

* * *

"I'm taking them away from here." I just blurted it out like that. No warning, no introduction, just a simple statement. Tinga jumped a little in surprise. She hadn't been expecting that. 

"You mean, like escaping Manticore?" 

"Yes." 

"That's deserting!" 

"I know." 

"You could get court-martialed, or shot!" 

"I know." 

"Why?" 

"They've got the shakes, Tinga. I can't let them take my unit away one by one. They've already taken Jack and Eva. No more." 

"How do you plan to get out of here, Zack? There are guards. And fences. And alarms." 

"I've actually come up with a plan. We're faster than any of the guards, the fences are easy to jump, and we'll just have to beat the alarms." 

"How?" 

"I know a way out to the yards that isn't mainstream. We'll have to pass through the Nomlies section, but we'll get out after that." 

"I don't know about this." 

"You don't have to come, Little Sister. I'd like for you to, but I'm not going to force anyone to come with me. You'll probably be interrogated by Lydecker, then reindoctrinated, but you don't have to be free with me." 

Tinga sighed loudly. "We should get going before they check back in here again." I smiled at my little sister, glad she was on board. With the two of us in charge, the others would follow with no problem. 

* * *

"Everyone, fall in!" The kids scrambled all around me, backs rigid, eyes straight ahead. 

"We're leaving this prison to find out what it is like to live out there. It'll be almost as good as the Good Place. No worries, no punishment, nothing. We've got to get going. I want you all to listen to my plan." 

They all leaned forward except Jace. Her eyes were so wide and terrified, I felt sorry for her. "I will not order you to come with me. It is your choice to stay here or leave. I want you all to know that I won't let anything bad happen to you if you wish to try to escape with me. I can't guarantee anything, especially for those who decide to stay here at Manticore. I will do my best, though." 

I waited for a few more minutes. I let the words sink into their minds, waited for them to collect their thoughts and to make their decisions. I smiled as I saw each and every one of my unit get into two lines. "We're going to have to be quiet. There will be guards and sirens and alarms that can be tripped. We're going to have to be careful." We walked out side of our bunk and travelled down the hall quietly, trying to stop ourselves from marching like we usually did. We managed to evade any guards on our hall and to walk down the stairs three flights. We were on the fourth floor now. Some of the Nomlies lived here. I noticed Ben tense up and I saw Jondy and Max grab each others hands. We stayed in the shadows, just as we were made. We were children of the shadows, to be exact. We were never meant to be in the light. Going out into the world was going to be hard and confusing, but I knew each and every one of them would be strong enough to survive. We continued our march down close to the walls. The Nomlies were reaching through the bars on their doors, grabbing at us. I saw Syl flinch and Krit duck as another almost grabbed his neck. The Nomlies were screaming on the top of their lungs, as if trying to alert the proper authorities of our unauthorized presence. Unfortunately, the two guards on that hall came to see what the commotion was about. They grabbed their walkie talkies and started to report. 

"A group of unauthorized X5's are on the fourth floor. We repeat, unauthori-" 

Tinga and I had snapped their necks before they could continue. A slight bit of guilt ran through me before I immediately pushed it away. It was too late for us, though. The sirens had been sounded and the lights were searching the ground. We could hear guards marching up the stairs hurriedly. This was not part of the plan. I glanced around and noticed one window at the end of the corridor. I moved my hands in a wide circle and then motioned for them to go down to the window. We all stopped in front of the wide glass and stared down at the snowy ground. We were going to have to jump. 

"Jump!" We all broke through the glass and sailed through the air. I looked up and noticed Jace staring at us. She looked terrified. "Jace! Come on!" 

She wouldn't move. She was frozen in place. I would have to leave her behind. The others had run across the grounds and into the forest. I followed the tracks they'd left and found them behind a fallen log. I moved my hands in a series of motions that told them that we'd have to split up and to head for the gates. They nodded, accepting the order, and stood. Max watched me carefully and I let myself drink in the image of my baby girl. Her eyes were excited and scared, her face flushed from the running and cold. I couldn't hesitate for long; I knew it was time for me to distract the guards. They couldn't get to the others. It is my job to protect them. Max ran off with Jondy, the last two to leave the site. I ran out from the bushes and blurred past a series of cars. I saw Gage and two others being rounded up. Before I knew what happened a sharp pain hit me in the back. Then another. And another. I had been shot with a taser. I fell to the snowy ground shaking. They may have caught me for the moment, but I would get away tonight. I wouldn't stay at Manticore a minute longer. I sent a silent prayer to the Blue Lady, "Please keep Maxie and the others safe! Just until I can get to them." The guards were trying to tie me up. Lucky for me, they were X4's. I fought them off and ran. Ran to the gate while I heard Lydecker shouting for me to come. He tried X5-599 and Zack. I ignored him and jumped the fence and ran. 

* * *

The moon shone beautifully overhead and the stars twinkled. The roads were completely deserted. Everything outside the gates seemed peaceful, despite the sound of helicopters flying overhead. I was almost to Delalo according to the signs. I was at least 60 Klicks away from Manticore I could only hope that the others were that far away. Maybe they'd stayed in pairs. Maybe not. Maybe they were all alone just like I was, with no mission in mind, no orders to follow. It was nice. What I was doing now was my choice. Walking down a road, with nothing more pressing to do then staying away from Manticore. Not that I'm minimizing that. It was just so free. I saw the city limits, lights shining from every building. The city seemed quiet. Even more quiet that the isolated building of Manticore. I was almost free. 


End file.
